I totally understand you not wanting to share your name. It’s great to see you still reaching out, and in no way are you wasting anyone’s time. You don’t seem to me to be throwing a pity party, you’re someone who’s obviously hurting and is reaching out; that takes courage. Like Anita said, let your horse rest here. I sincerely hope you can start to see that you do have value and you definitely do matter, cause you do. None of us can magically take your pain away, but we can listen and be there for you. That in itself can really help. Take care my friend and remember you are not alone.