Dear Ali:

I think you should find a way to relax and reset, leave the past alone, it is too messy to figure out, at least the way you think and feel about it, it is too messy.

Start anew. Easier said than done, of course, it usually is when it comes to obsessive thinking and ongoing distress.

I would say either find a way to relax and reset or end the relationship.

Effective psychotherapy can be very helpful to you. Blogs on “Mindfulness and Peace” under BLOGS may help. And do post again with more of your thoughts and feelings.

anita