Thank you so much for this response Anita. I know she failed me at times but I love her so much and I know she loved me. She had so much pain inside and didn’t love herself and that’s why she was giving up. I can’t stop feeling guilt from not being able to save her. I should have been by her side everyday. I was just going through so much with my own break up and for once I needed her so I wanted her to be there and was mad she wasn’t. So I wasn’t there for her and I feel so wrong and selfish for that. I feel to blame for her being gone and I’m so afraid to feel this way forever. I struggle with letting go and this one I’m afraid to hold on to forever. I can’t believe I’ll never see her face again. I am so deeply hurt and sad.