I am glad that a lot of my issues have been brought to my attention.  I am thankful for that.

Wishing i never met her refers to the pain and hurt i have felt for the last year and still feeling.  It’s very defeating and crushes me at times.  it does come and go, for instance.  I was in a good mood all morning.  happy, enthusiastic, energetic, positive.  Then after my lunch i was driving back to work and it’s a beautiful day and going to be a beautiful weekend, so my brain went there.  Went to the place of when i used to take off and her and i would go do something fun and romantic for the weekend, just the two of us.  I’m trying to push through this one.  It’s not as bad as yesterdays.