Dear Notebookb6:

I understand, you reflected on the relationship and your behavior in it after he broke up with  you, not before. Now that you have reflected, best you can do is see to it that you don’t do those particular behaviors that you regret in the future. If not with him, then not in a relationship with another man, one you are yet to meet.

Make sure you get to know the next man so that he is not abusive to you and that you are not abusive toward him. I found self forgiveness when I worked hard to heal from what has caused me to hurt another and through that healing, I became a better person. This is the best I can do when there is nothing I can do to fix a correct something that happened in the past.

You sort of fix the present/ future and when you do, you forgive yourself for the past.

anita