Dear N0tebookb6:

A lot of the learning will have to take place during a relationship. Much of the healing cannot be done outside the context of a relationship. After all, learning in psychotherapy can be done because of a relationship with the therapist.

I learned that the thinking that we can heal outside a relationship and then enter a relationship that will be healthy because of prior healing is not true to reality. After time alone, with as much healing as can be done alone, a person is triggered just as before once entering a relationship, if not immediately, then soon enough.

Is psychotherapy an option for you? If it is, it will take choosing a good therapist.

anita