These are huge realizations, Katie. It must be difficult to listen to your cousin and know that her mindset isn’t helping her.

Have you tried talking to her about it? You could lightly joke about it, then segue into a more direct conversation: “Heeey… let’s point out ALL the things we don’t like about our bodies! Haha, no, seriously, I hear you talk about appearances A LOT. It hurts when you criticize me. Being pretty is nice, but accepting myself is more important”.

Instead of submitting to your cousin’s complaints about her weight, suggest that you work out together. Or if you can’t see each other often, set up a workout calendar, check in on each other’s progress via texts and hit your health goals. These ideas will get your cousin out of the victim mindset and into feeling good about her body.

Keep loving yourself, Katie! You’re in the perfect position to help your cousin see that appearances aren’t everything. But before you help her, please take care of yourself. You might need to limit exposure to your cousin to preserve your self-esteem. Enjoy your new friends and learning about other ways of seeing the world. Do what feels good to you.