Hello Anita! Thank you so much for your responses.
I’ve tried psychotherapy for many years now, for a while, I had to see psychiatric and took medicine for depression and anxiety, it had me numbed and I really didn’t learn to cope and manage my anxiety, I just learned how to talk about my issues, but I was so out of me, numbed all the time, there are even periods of time I can’t remember.
After that and a while later, I went to see a psychologist instead, she’s helped me through much, but she was focused in unsolved issues from our lives, childhood and all of that. I managed to be healthier but as you can see, there’s plenty of work to do still, and I couldn’t continue with therapy because of money and time, my working schedule makes it hard for me to go to therapy and so I tried “natural” ways, I started working out more, and I started to meditate (about 2 times per week so far) but I haven’t been consistent.
I am constantly reading about this kind of issues, but yeah, it’s easier said than done sadly…
The moment I read what you wrote “I would say the problem here is your anxiety, not his behavior” it hit me, I always tried to heal my insecurities without knowing what caused them, or blaming them on past mistakes.