Hey Riris, so we have been together for a year and two months now.  Her childhood consisted of her mom and dad and an older sister.  The mom has has a drinking problem for over 30 years.  It has always been an issue even when my girlfriend was young.  Her dad didn’t seem to have any issues but ended up having an affair later that was very hard on everyone especially my girlfriend.  As they were growing up her sister was very cruel to her and they did not get along.  She has had a number of very troubling relationships where her boyfriend at the time left in the middle of the night.  Also, there was physical abuse at one point in another relationship and there is a restraining order there.

Anita, Thank you so much for your response, insight and honesty.  It is very difficult because she is never able to see what is happening clearly.  She got frustrated looking something up on the computer and I saw that she needed help so I got on my phone and looked it up and showed her.  She snapped at me and said that my input wasn’t any good.  I walked out of the room and she came out and said I was getting angry again.  I tried explaining that I was trying to help but she became louder and louder and wouldn’t hear me.  The situation calms and the blame for it is put on me.  It has become a hit to my self confidence over time.  My self respect has been declining and I have not been feelings as good about myself as I generally would.  I don’t know why but we have began to think that the reasoning behind this is because of unresolved pain from my dads death years ago.  I never really thought it was an issue but it is what she says may be the reason i am feeling so bad.  She has suggested a few times that I talk to someone about it.  As far as her talking to anyone, I know that she will never think that there are issues she has to work out.  Through numerous times of getting angry and blaming I have never seen her look inward, the problems always come from the outside and she is just reacting with honest emotion.  I am starting to think a lot about what you said about me not being able to help her.  It makes me really sad because I love her, but I hate the way she treats me and isn’t even aware of how it makes me feel.