Dear mallllh:

It is not a good idea to keep fighting until you find a more interesting job and make friends. It is a good idea and a possible one, to stop fighting immediately. Whenever you feel angry at him, whenever you notice that you are about to start a fight of any kind, take a slow, deep breath and then another. Take time out, a walk outside or distract yourself washing dishes or such thing. Then, when you are calm enough and in control, talk to him.

Let’s say you’ve done all that but the moment you talk to him, you get distressed and angry. Now what?

My answer to my own question: endure the distress. Tell him you need to get away from the ph0ne or otherwise, need to get away for a bit and will be back to him (take a time out), or else, just endure the distress without starting a fight.

As you practice this necessary self control, work on the long term solutions, finding a more engaging job and making friends.

anita