Dear Zenity:

The man you are dating, he may be honest, responsible and trustworthy, but I don’t think you are able to see that he is these things, of if you see that he is, you don’t trust what you see. This is because you project your father into him. You see your father in him and you can’t separate the two.

This causes confusion and fear, it is scary when we don’t know who it is we are involved with, especially when considering marrying that person we …. don’t really know.

If you attend good therapy/ counseling, you will be able to sort of.. peel off the image of your father from this man and see him as he is. You will trust what you see and feel confident. No longer scared, the feelings of love for him will be back.

Being scared is very uncomfortable, that is why, I believe, you need that extra space from him. Part of you wants to end this relationship so to no longer be as uncomfortable as you are. You want relief.

Is therapy/ counseling available for you?

anita