Hi Anita,

Yes he is currently living with his family. He is a hard-working man and one of the two main providers for the family (financially) and I believe this plays a big part in him continuing to live at home as his mother and family are dependant on him. He wouldn’t want to disappoint and be the sole reason of their struggle (even though his mother is fully capable of working and providing for herself but simply refuses to). She is a woman of luxury and has never worked a day in her life but she is now hindering her sons life progress because of her laziness. Nonetheless, this is the reality.

Like I say, he is deeply apologetic for the traumatic event. He says he wishes he had done things differently(this I believe) and wishes that he stood in the way of his families involvement (this I do not believe he would’ve been capable of doing).

I say mistake because it was just this one off event that caused everything to fall through. Other than that, our relationship was seemingly perfect for two and a half years. This is why I am having a hard time moving on.

I feel the deep rooted issues with my moving on around the trauma is something separate to my moving on from my relationship, although they are clearly linked to one another.

I guess my question to myself and others who may have experienced betrayal like this is; Can you actually forgive the other person (the person that you love)? Can your relationship continue as normal? Will this person aid you in your healing because they are so deeply linked to the cause of the trauma or will they hinder it? At this moment in time, I have no clue what I am doing or which way to go.