Thank you for your comforting words Kelli, I’ve been told trying to be overly optimistic about this isn’t healthy, but it’s the only way i know how to cope. If i allow myself in the sadness it becomes very addictive, and i don’t want to enter the dark realm of depression again. Especially while living alone there’s no one to pull me out and do things like ‘come on lets go for a walk’. Once i get there i don’t know if i can pull myself out. It’s very contradicting.