Hi Kkasxo,

I didn’t have a great sleep- I actually dreamt I was a plus 1 of one of the royal family & was on a trip with Kate, Meghan, William etc. I think I’m losing it! Even in my dream, the ‘royal cousin’ I was with was ignoring me. Much like my ex I guess.

The mornings are the worst, for some reason, my gut twists and I can’t stop thinking about how lost I am. On weekdays I nip it in the bud and get up for work but weekends, I just lie there feeling wore and worse.

I wonder a lot about when or if this will end. I wonder is he feeling a lot better now and how do I get to that place. I’m looking at 2 years to get over my relationship so….getting older and older in the meantime.

An absolute gem of a work friend suggested us living together given that I now won’t be moving into my forever home with the ex. It shook me. I adore the girl, don’t get me wrong, she’s 23 and kind and sweet and fun. But I thought to myself, am I going to go all the way back to the start, like a college student, I thought I was in a different place now. But I guess that’s the crux of it…. I AM back to the start but just can’t accept it.

Myself and my sis are doing a bit of shopping today to help me get an outfit for my big presentation event that will help me feel a bit more confident. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m glad you enjoyed the evening with your sister, you deserved a reprieve for a couple of hours. I have lots of Netflix recommendations so I don’t know where to start. I’m ignoring any series I had started with him. Time for something new.

what are your plans today?