Heya Anita,

So he bailed on me at the last minute!

I had a feeling he might do this – the night before he had texted me and expressed a concern about meeting. He claimed his concern was around me and my welfare. At the time I thought this was a little bit odd and wondered if he was projecting his doubts onto me. All I said was “That was thoughtful of you.” and left it there. We had already agreed a time and place so did not think it was necessary to confirm we were still meeting.

I was really angry when he first told me he was not going to come and meet me – especially since he has left it so last minute to cancel on me. Half an hour before we were supposed to meet! He claimed to have injured himself. It is true that it was inconsiderate of him to delay telling me until the last minute. However I managed to keep a calm head and quelled the urge to tell him to fuck off. I called him once and he didn’t pick up which annoyed me. I felt ignored. In my head: He’s just cancelled on me last minute and doesn’t have the decency to even call me to tell me, or pick up his phone when I call, he’s just going to ignore me yadda yadda yadda….

So I waited a short while and sent a text asking him if he was nervous and explaining I just wanted to meet because texting is awful for proper communication and I thought we could meet to a view to understand each other better. This worked. He said he was anxious about engaging with the ‘dynamic’ he experienced again, and he agreed what I had said was reasonable. (Kinna hints at my anger issue – don’t you think?)

Then I called him and we re-arranged our plans. I made a point on the phone of opening up the conversation to discussing any further reservations he might have, which he did not. Hopefully he will be less anxious now and still meet with me on Thursday.

He did sound a bit uncomfortable on the phone.

On another issue, I contacted an old ex over the weekend who said he had loved me very much but my anger made it too difficult for him to be with me. That was sobering, I’m glad he was so straight up with me. It wasn’t discussed when we broke up. He’s happy to meet with me and talk to me about it.

Seems like I will be eating a lot of humble pie this week.

-Feathering

• This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by Feathering my nest.