Shelby,

Ah okay that makes sense now. I suppose when you do find ‘the one’ you do eventually want these things. It is a real shame that he wasn’t able to keep us as I do believe it’ll catch up with him eventually. Realistically, any woman he finds himself in the future will want these things also – not many don’t.

My ex on the other hand is adamant that he does want those things but just not yet, or anytime soon for that matter. I suppose that is all to do with age on our end – we are in our mid twenties and he is a year and 2 months younger than me. I never really paid attention to this but it has become apparent as we progressed in the relationship. After our 3 year relationship I naturally want to progress whereas he ‘has all the time in the world’ to do so.

Now, this is not to say that I want a baby and marriage right this second. But nonetheless I do want it to be a part of my future and I worry with him that I will waste my time. I told him it is almost like going in blindfolded hoping that he will stick to his word and make it happen, one day, with no real indication of when. I don’t know if it is just my crazy idea of the world but in my mind I thought we’d first move in together a few years into our relationship, we would then eventually get engaged, married and have children (further down the line). As it stands, he will not even consider a move with me right now because of his financial responsibilities at home. As a result, I am having to do this part completely on my own shortly. My family are moving abroad in June/July and I will be having to move out of my family home to start a life on my own in this country. My sister will be heading off to live in Korea with her partner and I will be left completely on my own and essentially unable to rely on him to ‘build a life with me’ because he is too tied in with his own family.

All of our mutual friends (couples) who got together way after us are starting to somewhat progress. Many are planning move’s in together in the oncoming months etc, some are engaged others are having children and yet our relationship has been at a standstill.

Do you think your sleep is affected because of the anxiety? Maybe try some light exercise right before bed to tire yourself out! I love a gym session prior to bed, it gives me a really good sleep!

I’m glad your therapist is back now! You seem to be doing really well with these sessions, i’m hoping mine will go just as well!

My night was okay although I kept waking up in pain. Today,as usual I am just getting by.