Dear Ben:

Reads like a mixed bag of messages from your friend,  a mix that doesn’t make sense to me, not out  of context anyway. “He should fight for your attention”, why? He already had your attention, for one, a whole lot of your attention. But even if he didn’t, he shouldn’t fight for your attention any more than you should  fight for his attention.

“Its like a lot  of the other people on here, they struggle with that separation”- you struggled with separation from him while on the trip, on the same bus, if he talked to other people, a momentary separation was difficult. This brings me back to separation from your mother in preschool, was it? That separation anxiety.

“I only wish I could help him see  he doesn’t have  to be totally alone”- this is you projecting your separation anxiety into him, thinking he is the one having a hard time being alone. It  is you, not him, anxious to be  alone. Interesting, similar to preschool or kindergarten (I don’t remember which), it was during the beginning of separation, when your mother just left you there and when she came to pick you up that you felt most anxious, similar too you feeling most anxious when he was  with you and just left, or when you anticipate seeing him again. In between these two you feel better.

Do you feel this way, that your separation anxiety is most acute once you see him, while still in his company, when he moves away from you, to  talk to someone else or away from your sight? And the relief is in between a goodbye and the anticipation of a new meeting?

anita