Aditya Adila,

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time too. Yes I too am taking medication and undergoing psychotherapy. It’s a slow process and I hope it will soon improve.

Kkasxo,

A couple of years ago, when I reconciled before, I believed we were meant to be together, my heart and gut told me to go back, to give it another go. It turns out I was wrong. Nevertheless, my therapist explains that it was something I needed to do at the time, I had to be able to let it go knowing that I had tried everything. And I did try everything. You are right, he tried…twice and still couldn’t do it. Why on earth can’t I accept that? It’s definitely something to do with control and believing, like yourself, that if you hang in there and work on it, you can change the outcome of a situation. It’s exactly 8 weeks today and I still have no fragment of light about moving on or trying to make myself happy in life. I’m still lost without him, sad, lonely and even jealous of him living his life without me. I consider contacting him many many times. There is no point in me pretending I don’t.

I think it’s a good thing that your ex is easing off on communication for the time being. It’s important to sort what’s going on in your head and heart without any other considerations. You may end up back where you are in a year’s time, but you have survived right? You could survive again if worst came to worst. I do think if ye talk on Saturday, you would both need to work out a future plan that you are BOTH happy with and not live on vague plans or maybes. When I got back together with my ex previously, I was just so happy to be back with him, I didn’t broach the future subject at all. I tried to keep it all light and airy and as the months and years went on, the cracks emerged. It will only work if ye are on the same page and willing to work for the same goals, so that could be something to chat about.

I eventually got a couple of hours sleep, but I’m pretty tired today. I’m feeling the loss again this morning. Honestly, it’s exhausting, feeling like your life is on pause at misery until you can regain your life with your ex.When this is not a possibility for me. Why can’t I get that into my head. I miss him so much.

This evening Im going to a school musical at my friends school – she’s a teacher –  so I figure it’ll distract for a couple of hours.

Im wishing you all the best with your session later and remember – the first one will always be a bit alien and you might feel unsure but give it a chance. Let me know how you get on!