Dear jlo5:

Welcome back.

Your ex, the father of your boys has a new relationship and as a result he has  been nicer to you in the last few weeks. In a  previous thread you wrote  about him: “I’m realizing that my every waking moment around him (and  even when I was away from him) has  been focused  on keeping  him happy”. I think it upset you to see that another woman made him happy (so far, somewhat). Because you tried for so long, focused on this aim so intensely. What do you think?

In this thread you wrote: “For years I tried to make my relationship work with my ex and nothing was  good enough”- I think this is what you are grieving, why you cried the other  night.

“The fear of never  being  enough”- do you think it came up recently because (as  understand  it) this friends-with-benefits relationship has been becoming more serious, and the never-being-enough fear has been activated  in the context of a more serious relationship?

anita