Thanks for the advice, I will watch those videos and begin to work on it. Through therapy I probably realise where the need for control began but it doesn’t help me get rid of it now!

Im feeling scared again this morning, due to being ill and so I’m out of routine. I have been functioning trying to fill my time in a manageable way- ‘controlling’ as much as I can again. But now I have no choice but to rest and be. I guess I’m afraid of the pain or dark thoughts moving in. Bed has been a difficult place to be the past 8 weeks and now I have no choice but to be here….