Dear anita,

thank you. I think it is a good idea to review the old threads later. Right now I can’t really concentrate…I feel very stressed and not calm at all…

I realize that I blew this out of proportion and it will seem very odd to K. I wanted to do the right thing, I thought it was the right thing to tell him. But of course it was exaggerated.

That he is not responding now really makes me feel like I made a huge mistake. I think by now he will definitely not want anything to do with me. But maybe this is another thing that I’m blowing out of proportion.

My father is indeed a very stubborn and emotional person. He is insecure, but he tries to come off as tough to the outside world. He can’t take critizism, he has no friends and always sees a lot of flaws in other people. He is not very open minded, starting with food, music, human behaviour… I think he couldn’t understand me as achild, sometimes not behaving rationally. I felt like he disliked me, didn’t accept me.

Sometimes I can see the good things in me… I am open minded to other worldviews, I try to be kind to people and I’m creative. But then I also too often tell myself “I am a bad person” like  a mantra.

I think it will take time until I can overcome this. At least I’m starting to understand myself better and seeing things clearer.