You think its monogamy? Interesting. His English was terrible in the conversation we finished the relationship with.. he wrote the last message out and I couldn’t figure out if it was “I don’t want to be just with you” which, I get, we’re both young, and I had plenty of over the shoulder moments too… That helps me to accept it better and he just didn’t want to commit to it. Fair enough. Or was it just simply “I don’t want to be with you”… which is just rude and childish. Not that it matters, I suppose I can interpret it how I want if the first option makes me feel more at peace, doesn’t change anything after all. He’d said too “maybe if we were together it would be different”… which is stupid as he was the one determined to keep traveling after we’d met again. Anyway, I’m not pontificating.

The future? I don’t know, I think I have a couple of options, emailed a few schools etc. One in Mexico, another in Spain. if that doesn’t work out, I think ill come home anyway. Just do whatever, maintain a positive attitude. Have a plan to save money and go travelling. Perhaps it says a lot that I still see it as home? I worry about going home to my parents, but they seem to have a healthier attitude towards it. I worry I~’ll go an dissolve again, waiting for someone on a dating app to fulfill my dreams (not that i’ll let it happen but… I fear). They say they won’t let me do that and will push me to get a job anyway… and that’s what I want to do. Maybe spend time re-adjusting my life… I saw there are a couple therapists in my hometown, so If I did go home, get a job, earn money, I could be there, yes, but be taking care of myself and moving on. Then, who knows… maybe Australia.

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Ben.