Hi guys,

So two things, I’m happy to report that my check up last week was without incident and we did meet after work. It’s worth noting though that she was playing it very aloof before we met. When I texted her the morning of the meeting, before I set off to my check up, she failed to get back to me. Both in her morning and lunch break, despite her being online at the time I sent it (Whatsapp messenger, online but didn’t ‘see it’). So at 3pm I rang her up, and although she didn’t pick it up, confirmed via text she was OK to meet at the train station. Perhaps she was hoping I’d just go home…

Which to be honest was probably a good thing, because it lowered my expectations to almost none-existent. To cut a very long story short, it went really well. I’d changed so much she walked right past me! She was genuinely shocked, and the first thing she did was compliment me on how much weight I’ve lost, and I was looking great. We then skipped the coffee and went to a nice restaurant (her idea). We talked like it was old times on the way.

Her body language the whole time was really open and positive. Not leaning back, having her arms folded or looking at her phone. She even admitted that her little brother still talks about me to her… the notable part of the evening was when I was laughing about my brother trying to find love on dating apps, and then her replying with “well we met each other on it”. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but why say that? I also made her aware that I had been on a few dates, but I wasn’t looking for anything serious. To which she replied she had had interest but she just didn’t have time for a relationship. Generally though, the conversation flowed, we both laughed lots and it was a really good night.

We both said goodbye at the train station and I gave her a big hug, like I did at the start. I then got a text from her first, 5 minutes later, saying it was great to see me with a love heart at the end. I then replied with it was great to see her too, and that we should do it again soon. To which she replied, most definitely with another love heart.

Her messages to me since then have definitely increased, but no where near pre-dating and dating levels. I tried to organise another drink for before Christmas, last weekend, but she said that she’s not sure she has the time with exams over the Christmas period. However she would let me know if she can find the time. Obviously her exams, work and family come first, but then again you make time for the things you want to make time for. Perhaps she’s still working out how she’s feeling, and maybe is fearful of falling back into a relationship that she feels is doomed to failure. She’s made it perfectly clear that her heart is set on the armed forces, and doesn’t feel like she can commit to a relationship if she does go down that path. The thing is I understand this. I just need the opportunity to tell her that I still care but know that the timing isn’t right for a committed relationship. However that doesn’t have to stop us from being able to do things together and being there for each other.

So am I right or am I still living in hope? I suppose the proof is in her actions. If I do meet her again, I think that’s the time to be totally honest with her and let her tell me what’s going on in her head.