thanks Valora, you have so many valid points.  It really helps me to see another perspective on this.  In so many ways, it would be nice to be with her again, but until both of us take care of our own issues, it would end up badly.  I can see that now.  Thank you.

I am really working on letting her go.  I think i’ve kept telling myself “someday we will be together”.  I’m trying to tell myself now that we won’t.  That she is gone and what we had is gone.  It’s very hard not wanting that again with her though.