Dear Anita,

thank you for your thoughtful advice which is very clear and empathic!

Now that you remind me of the powerful factor his depression is, it becomes clear to me again, that he must often feel emotionally disconnected. I am now just wondering, why I did like him so much and agreed to his way of relating to others. I am wondering if I was trying to fix him (I wish I could be his best friend who cures the depression away) or if it resonated with my insecurities about living in a new culture and starting a new job. But he seems also to be very good in masking it and to be fun in a social setting with alcohol and otherwise just makes a lot of effort for being in control. Above all we have a lot of similar interests and a lot to talk about. I also immediately connected with his friends and family and besides those problems we seemed to be people from a ‘similar tribe’. Probably I did not do anything wrong but I am sorry that I was not able to prevent it.

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Magdalene.