Shelby,

Another big well done to you on your presentation! And yes, the day off tomorrow is well deserved! Have you got much planned?

I think your point about wanting to build a life together, a mutual future is absolutely right. I agree with that completely. He doesn’t. In his words he is doing the best he can to provide us with the best future.. which yes is admirable and very nice of him but quite frankly at that rate we may not even have a future together because he’s so set in his ways… he realises this but it isn’t enough of a reason for him to derail from this plan. So perhaps your therapist is right. Maybe he does love me, like your ex loves you, but it isn’t enough to actually compromise and make future plans with me..

I do hear of these stories all the time. Two people together for many years, happy years but without progress and then suddenly they split up, eventually get into their next relationships and everything moves so quickly! But that’s all they qete, stories, and it appears I’m living this one right now.

I’ve actually just come back from my counselling session and I am feeling drained to say the least! I feel like this whole ordeal has sucked all of the energy out of me.

Yes, I saw Victoria’s comment earlier on her own thread and it resonated with me being on the receiving end of the situation. I’ve realised because of all the built up insecurities from the way he walked out on me all the way to this now ongoing back and forth have made me such a miserable person. I don’t like this person but yet I still do not have it in me to make the conscious decision to walk away.. I feel like I’ll forwver ask myself ‘what if?’. It would be much easier if he walked and it’s almost as though I am waiting for that moment! I’m arguing and pushing him further and further away to make him walk – how unhealthy?!

On a brighter note though, I’ve just weighed myself & I’ve officially lost 21 pounds since June!  This should make me quite happy.. it doesn’t haha! Nothing makes me happy nowadays!