Thank you so kindly Anita! You are a wonderful, encouraging person. 🙂 I love the English language, but with time pressures from being a working mother, my writing can get a little hasty and fragmented. I am sure any person with a young child will understand this remark, although I have tried my best to write clearly. 🙂

I think you have really gotten to the heart of the issue, in that he is after the whole fantasy world and prefers to numb out any feelings of discomfort or pain, seeing as he has serious issues stemming from his childhood. Being real with me is not what he is after, and that has become painfully clear going by his actions, or more precisely, inaction!

Something prompted me to write him a short message yesterday, even though I understand you don’t always get the closure you want from doing that. I went with that instinctual feeling, as I felt the need to ask him why he had avoided answering important questions I had asked of him, which he had raised in the first place. And how if he had answered those follow-up questions of mine, it would have helped clarify my understanding of his situation, life, character, and his values better.  Sadly, yet again his response was all about him and he left me to draw inferences, because he never directly addressed my latest question! The inference I gathered by the information he gave, was that he was busy at the moment concentrating on finishing a new vocation course, and even though he had decided it was not for him (yet again I see another sign of unstableness, as he always seems to switch or quit jobs!).

I get that though. At that moment in time when I messaged him yesterday, he was busy attending a course and had little time to reply to me. That is fair enough. However, as I see it, there are 24 hours in a day. And he is not busy enough to find time to sleep or eat, and certainly not busy enough to interact with other women online, but busy enough to build trust in our re-forming relationship and communicating with me on unanswered questions that would have cleared up why he was fired from a previous job, and whether he truly meant what he said about really liking me, to the point of him revealing his sexual attraction to me.

He never offered me an apology, or expressed any dismay about me telling him I had removed myself from his friends list on social media. I figured he was giving me the blow-off, but it gave me some measure of closure in knowing that I tried my best to communicate with him, in part to give him one last chance to explain himself. He was not willing to be mature enough to respond as one would in a two-way friendship that they really cared to try and save.

I don’t plan on reaching out to him again. It’s time I think about moving on, since with guys like him there is always an excuse why they are not present in your life, and someone else is always to blame while they are the hard done by victim in it all. Yes, he did have a bad start to life in some respects, but if he is reforming himself today like he claims he is,  then he still has quite a bit of work ahead of him. Life is too short to over-analyse someone’s every action or inaction towards you. They either step up and meet you halfway to do whatever it takes to make it work or the relationship cannot survive.

Thank you once more Anita for all the valuable advice you have given. 🙂

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Dee.