Dear Tristan:

I think there  is your fear on one hand, fear of being hurt once again and there is your anger on the other hand, anger at those who already hurt you and quick to anger  at the  thought of being hurt again.

“Finding  Myself”, your quest, is  somewhere between those two, the fear and the anger.

The way to  find yourself, is to take care of the  fear  and  anger first, when those significantly lessen, then you will find yourself.

This will lessen your fear and  anger:  be selective as  to  whom you get involved with, learn about her over time, is  she  honest, is she trustworthy with you, does she do right by you- continue if she is, discontinue if she  isn’t. And be aware of your own behavior: are you honest and trustworthy, do you do right by her- when not, correct your behavior.

anita