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Dear Tristan:
As a matter of fact, my therapist of 2011-2013, his specialty was CBT and that was the focus of our therapy, it was CBT with a heavy touch of Mindfulness. I found my therapist by googling CBT in my area at the time. What got me into CBT was a workbook I worked on, Cognitive Therapy for Dummies. It got me going. Maybe you can look at it yourself as you wait for therapy.
As far as messaging her regarding her father’s death last year, at first I thought why not, but then I re-read a bit from page 1 and I don’t think it is a good idea. I don’t think it will benefit her and it is likely to harm you. Let’s say you message her and she doesn’t respond, that may trigger your feelings of being disrespected by her (page 1). Better not.
Face the future, turn your back to the past, meaning no contact whatsoever with an ex is best. When you let go of the old, as you proceed with therapy and healing, you make space for the new, a new, healthy relationship you are yet to have in the future.
anita