Dear  VLC:

Your previous therapist said that whenever you feel uncomfortable you want to run away. Everyone does, including your former therapist who suggested this. It is healthy and mature to resist the urge until you find out the reality of the situation. The reality of your relationship with your ex boyfriend is not all about your parents’ divorce and your attachment style, it is also about his parents and his attachment style and other issues he has.

In other words,  when you are aware or become aware of your own issues, it doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t  have  issues, he may have more issues than you do!

It is  nice that  your ex boyfriend calmed you when you were distressed, but I f he is the legitimate cause of a good part  of your  distress, better  you avoid the source of the distress than have the source calm you down after distressing you.

His lack of affection for you in the past, how did it look like, what did he say or not say, do  or not do that showed his lack of affection for you?

anita