Hello Nikkole,

I have briefly read about the conversations above and hope that I have understood the issue here.

First of all, I think Anita has broken it down a good insight for what is the underlying thought patterns that might occur to you, which you are well aware of that.

I can tell you like to analyse, not just about your surroundings, but for yourself as well, hence the critical mindset might set-in and play a big part in your day-to-day activities. The fact is that there is always a fine line balance on how much to think or to analyse, which is differ to person-to-person. Thinking is the head and feeling is the heart. The one who spend much energy in thinking might lose their naturalness, which what I call our nature. In contrary, the one who rely solely on feelings could bring impulsive behaviour. Like a diet, balance is the key, nothing we are having too much will benefit us. And finding that balance would bring us back to clarity.

Since you have been practising Meditation, particularly in young age that you should give yourself a pat at the back, as most of the people would not do so, even they know where the problem lies. It is a good way to let the thinking mind settle down if you have a good technique and teacher to guide you through. However, the key here is as follow:

1: Do not blame yourself:  it doesn’t matter how much you meditate if we blame ourselves all the time we could only get stuck in our mind.

2: Go out and attempt new things: Instead of sitting blaming yourself or other things, spend the time going for new experience. (doesn’t matter what it is; the key is the let the mind shift into a new patterns)

3: Be with the people you trust, to whom you feel belong: We need to share in life, this vibe is important for growth and gaining clarity for the direction we seek. And only the people with whom you feel uplifted can bring you to the stage of purpose.

4: Let go of others and things happening around you: Everyone is thinking about themselves and figuring out how to navigate in the world, no one has the time to keep what other is doing in their life.

5: Be you, be you, and just be you: If you are yourself, being you just like you being at home wherever you go, you can only meet the people and things that resonate with you. That I’d tell you is the key to reduce your anxiety, and bringing you happiness, joy, and purpose.

6: Formula to take away: If you have too much in the mind – let go and do some relaxation; if you have none in the mind, go out and share your time with others who need you.

All these things take time to grasp, and please take your time and enjoy. Don’t worry about where you will be going. In my experience, all this processes you will be going through will be the greatest moments, story, and lesson of life. Having said that, you will have to take that step. How? Do small things range from making bed, cleaning the house, and going out and do some service to others as the first stage, and once you gain the confidence by completing the commitments you have set for yourself, then you will know what to do next.

You will do well. I am here for you. Keep moving forward.