Shelby,

You are entitled to feel like you want to contact him. Let’s break this down realistically, you were with this man for nearly 4 years of your life. He was your absolute everything and then from one day to the next you are expect to 1.) stop all contact 2.) don’t dwell on it and even better, pretend you never cared in the first place and that you are loving life without him 3.) move on with your life with dignity and so on and so forth.. It’s just unrealistic. Quite frankly, unless you was in either an extremely abusive (emotionally/physically) relationship and you actually do not wish to keep contact or the other person passed away it is quite impossible to go on like you can completely erase the feelings and memories at such short notice and in such a short space of time…

You’re right in saying that you probably will feel worse after the contact.. I agree with this. But ultimately if that is what you want then can it get much worse than it already is?! Ultimately, this has to be YOUR decision. You have to get there yourself and know what’s best for me. For me personally like I say, I was aware that the conversation wasn’t going to be pleasant at all, I knew it would hurt terribly and I knew that I wasn’t going to get the answers my heart wanted to hear, but instead I would get honest answers….I needed to do it regardless. Goes back to that point your therapist made a while back about sometimes we need to do certain things even if they don’t quite make sense, or even if we know they’ll be painful (kind of the predicament I’m in now).

Perhaps try not to think about whether you should contact him or not contact him right now. Enjoy the distraction of your birthday week! That’s really lovely of your work colleague to organise something like that for you, i’m looking forward to hear all about your day of surprises 🙂

Also, I know that feeling when your ex’s friends pop up! I received a message from my ex’s best friend and also his girlfriend (who I don’t even get on with) on my birthday! I swiftly moved past it..

You’re not doing anything wrong. Everything you have described over the past 10 weeks is a prime example of heartbreak. It bloody sucks! But you are going through the motions and surviving each day as it comes! You’re doing great girl! xxxx