Also, and this is the last thing.. you think of you and your ex as this magical and wonderful time and it felt so good to be seen and validatee by someone and the hormone rushes and stuff make it wayyy more intense. Probably one of the more intense things/memories in your life. I felt that once too. And it does feel amazing.

BUT life i dont think, is meant to be intense. The intense feelings are good as they show js we can feel, but day to day life isnt that intense (unless jumping out of a plane or other exteme situation where lots of adrenaline/hormones are pumped out). Day to day reality (for me anyway) can be dull. My therapist said about noticing the little things eg a morning sunrise, a good cup of coffee etc. My reaction at that time was: “is that it?!” Like those things are all right and all but i miss the feelings or highs or itensity of your ex- real life is nothing in comparision.

I dont know the answer to that, but i think it could be more about wanting to FEEL and to feel GOOD or at least intense about something as everything else is kinda numb.. is that the same for you?

Noticing the little things can really help on certain days (tho i am just starting this journey) but also just doing your best to notice the good in the world. Yes it doesnt compare to your ex. It wont. Its different. But if you take the time to smile at drivers, do a nice thing for yourself, do a nice thing for others etc it can help you feel more connected. I appreciate totally it is not on the same level as your ex. But the thing is you may never feel that feeling again that you hd around her, you may meet someone with chemistry and feel similarily, I dont know, which isnt fair i know.

Also i have felt similar feelings to that high you feel around your ex in other situations eg happy situations since. This shows it wasnt just him that gave me feelings like that (although he most clearly did it) other things can too. Although these tend to be shortlived experiences and dont last. Again, i think thats just life.

Sorry this is rambly. I wanted to help you feel better but i am not sure I have. Look after yourself