Hi Anita,

The thread was around one year ago under title I ended an affair, I’m not sure. But I pretty much mentioned about my childhood there.

my anxiety started as I grew up abandoned. My parents were there physically but what they did only argue and abusive words were daily food for me and my brother. They almost ended up with divorce but then thought about our future, so it’s not happen until now. Every day they did not have clear mind so our opinions would be turned down or even not listened. They also had big expectations for me to always excel in school and have excellent future. they demand me to be always good girl, obey what they said and if I had my own opinions, they used to judge me as a very bad daughter. For the last 8 years, they’re trying their best to make it up and i’ve been doing my best to make our relationship ‘normal’ but I don’t really feel it. My father, especially, has very negative thoughts and victimised himself. Well, i got that he has his own wounds from his hard past even also the siblings. I don’t really feel comfortable sharing my stories with my parents and also the rest of family. Because I’ve been a ‘rebel’ and might have more intriguing experiences than theirs and they might not understand.

Including the affair that i ended one year ago with a married man who worked in my town as diplomat.  I was very devastated last year but now i slowly picking up myself and letting go what has happened. That’s also maybe why I look forward with the potential in my encounter with this new man I met on my recent vacation, just called him Andre. Because Andre is single, a hard worker (he told me about his travel work holiday stuffs, good and bad experiences), loves his family cause he shares a lot about his life in his home country, showing me his activities with family and friends there… oh Anita.. I feel like this kind of man is rare. Knowing what I had experience in the past…..