Dear dom:

I used to display similar behaviors with men, not because I “let men determine my self worth”, but because I felt I had no worth. Like you, I didn’t stand up for myself. I didn’t stand up for myself because I didn’t believe that my needs, feelings,wants and preferences were of  any importance.

I agree with you,  there is no “switch to flip and  you all of a sudden love yourself”. I think to love oneself, you have feel this self  worth, the belief that you matter, no less than anyone else, and that it is your job to see that you do matter in your own life, in all of your relationships.

anita