Shelby,

Yes we seem to think similarly. I too thought it would’ve been better for him to try and get us back to normality prior to external people getting involved (bar his parents as he lives with them so I had no choice to see them) but he seems to think otherwise. I’ve realised that this is bringing up too many feelings associated with my trauma for me and I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to move forward with him because of this. His family always has and will always and forever come first. All of their behaviours, even the bad will forever be back by him and justified. And he is so concerned about their wellbeing that he’s forgetting to have any remorse for mine.. I guess that’s just how he was raised, not something that’s ever going to change and most definitely not something I am willing to stand for for the rest of my life.

You’re so lucky you’ve got your nieces and nephews close by! My God son lives abroad so I only get to see him a couple of times a year if that. I am beyond excited to see him over Christmas. In fact, I’m beyond excited to get away from my ex and everyone associated with him, as horrible as that sounds I feel I need the space right now to gather my strength and do what’s best for me. Put ME first god damn it! So much easier said than done.

I’m not sure what to suggest in terms of contact. I know you said you don’t want to feel any worse than you already do but yet the thoughts keep coming back to the idea anyway? I think maybe it’s that whole thing around closure that’s creeping up. Maybe you just need to hear it once more that things are really done? Or maybe you need answers from him? I do definitely believe that you will know best what to do and one of these evenings you’ll either contact him or say to yourself ‘no more, enough is enough’! It’s such a shitty and confusing place to be!

Drained doesn’t even fit this anymore!