Hi Foxtree

So sorry to hear how you are feeling – somehow a birthday magnifies everything, doesn’t it? Life beats us up and it always seems it must be our own fault – when every day is a struggle it’s only natural we feel like giving up sometimes.

But a birthday is also a good time to resolve to make a fresh start – to put the past behind you and start working on your future. You have made a start by sitting and posting this – you realise things have to change, but need some help and support in making it come about.

You have a little girl who loves you and just wants her Mum to be her Mum. At 9, she isn’t going to remember your birthday without some prompting, and she probably realises that something is wrong and isn’t sure how she should react. Kids often feel like they are to blame if a parent feels bad. Chances are she wants a hug, too. And maybe just a bit of your time.

Children and dogs are relentlessly positive. Watch your daughter out in the park with your dog and  I guarantee they will both be having a whale of a time with nothing more than a stick. And remind yourself that that is a scene that you have created. Without you, it couldn’t have happened. And that both of them love you unconditionally and totally, and want you to be happy.

Today is the day to resolve to make a better life for all of you. Your daughter wants a happy Mummy, so make sure you take time for you, and for her. Things won’t change overnight, but that’s OK – with just a tiny improvement each day you will feel vastly more positive by this time next year.

You have started the process by acknowledging things need to change. Resolve to get all the help and support you can – from friends, family, your daughter, your dog, a counsellor, this site – and you will make the coming year the best of your life.

It may not have been the happiest birthday, but I hope it at least becomes the most significant and important one for you – the one where your new life begins.

Good luck!