Kkasxo,

I find at the moment, I’m not ready to move on. I mean I could try, but I’d be fooling myself, I just want to be with him. I know it’s silly, but I guess my judgment is clouded right now. I’ll keep posting over Xmas anyway with the various dilemmas that will no doubt emerge for me, so even if you’re not online, you’ll be able to catch up.

That journey sounds like an ordeal, but if it’s broken up with regular stops, it might not be too bad. Plus the excitement of a break and spending time with your loved ones, will spur you on when you’re fading!

A colleague brought his new born baby into work today to meet everyone and I felt so happy for him but so lonesome in a way. Not because I want ‘a baby’ per se. But more that I won’t have a baby with my ex, which for me kind of means ever.

Only one more day working here and I can have a sleep on – I forget what they look like!