Hi Anita,

Thanks for your reply. I see that this could be disassociation and I had a very rough childhood I’ll admit, which meant as a kid I didn’t explore much or play. Actually it wasn’t until my teens where I remained in school for the whole duration (I moved around a lot from my years 0-12) that I actively started ‘playing’. The thing is sexuality wasn’t part of that exploration and I can remember at 17 feeling sexual attraction excitement but also deep dread. I guess this dread was a fear of feeling things? I’m unsure…

everytime i explore now now I feel a lot of guilt and shame. What do you recommend for me to work through my disassociation? Do I give up on dating for a while or …?