Dear lola:

Happy New  Year to you too!

You need something that he can’t  give you, even if he tries very hard. It  is not in his power, and  so,  if he cares  about you,  he must be frustrated knowing he wants you to feel  okay but there  is nothing  he can do. Maybe  he feels helpless, not good  enough because he can’t  give you that something that  you need.

This something  that  you need is something only a parent can give a child, that everything-is-okay feeling, that complete safety feeling, being  protected and cared  for by an all-powerful parent.

Only the parent is not all powerful, but the young  child doesn’t  know it, she looks up to her parent as  all powerful. It is natural, all young children do.

And  now, you look up to this young man as all  powerful, as  if he was. He  is not. I think it is the  child in you still looking  for that complete safety, that no-worry, no problems state of mind  and  life.

Do you agree?

anita