Dear lola:

I hope you can decide to not “tell him all this” anymore. You can write about it here  instead. That way he will not “feel even worse”.

When your mother had a car accident  and you felt nothing it is because you got so used to not being loved by her that you gave up, but the longing for her love didn’t disappear, it went under and re-emerged when you met  this man (“No feeling for anything, it all came  back when I met him”).

If and when you get a chance, you can attend psychotherapy where the feelings you repressed regarding your mother will be brought up to  your awareness and processed. This way, the desperation you feel now will get re-attached to the original experience, that of your childhood, and then it will get  weaker a and weaker. By this re-attachment, the desperation will be removed from him. That way he can be free from it and you will be free from it as well.

Feel free to post here all the things you think and feel that make  him feel bad. I can handle it and will be glad to respond to you further.

anita