Shelby,

Yes I did really enjoy my time away. It was so nice to see all my family, Christmas was wonderful! And to my surprise I even thoroughly enjoyed the time away from the man who shall not be named. I wish it lasted longer! I felt free, comfortable, distracted to the max that I hardly thought about him. I thought being away from him on his birthday and Christmas would hit me hard, but it didn’t, not how I imagined anyway so another milestone done!

As 2019 was approaching I knew I needed to start a new chapter. I felt it within every ounce of me, I WANT it so bad. And everything with my ex was going amazing for the past few weeks. He’s been so understanding, caring, and I even saw the ‘old him’ in him.. Until NYE! All of the hard work put in over the past few weeks have yet again gone down the drain as some of his past lies and wrongdoings caught up with him.. So although nothing has happened in the last few weeks the idea that our new situationship (not a relationship) is based on lies has brought us back to square one. As it stands, the built up to trusting him and believing in his word again has been thrown out the window. I am beyond drained of this back and forth and not how I promised to see myself through to the new year.

He says that it shouldn’t matter as it isn’t anything recent and it is just past mistakes that have unfortunately shown up at the worst yet best time – at least we are entering the new year on a clean slate? I’m not so sure. So I withdraw as that is what I do best!

Enough about me though. How has your Christmas been? I’m sorry to hear you’re not well! I hope you feel better soon!

Did you contact your ex over Christmas then? You say you are due to be meeting up soon. What are your hopes for this meeting?