You’re welcome, Lara.

I don’t think it’s too important to nail down the perfect term; if it sounds similar to coprolalia, you can then research solutions and see if they help.

Since you’re not into online journaling or keeping a journal for privacy reasons, I’d suggest typing in Word, reflecting on what you wrote and then immediately deleting it. Or if you prefer paper, write and then rip it up or burn it. You can even go without journaling altogether and spend 5 to 10 minutes in the morning and evening to reflect on your progress. But you don’t have to do anything that doesn’t feel good to you.

About the event you described, bravo for fearlessly making 2 announcements! Being a leader means you have to make decisions that won’t always please everyone (e.g. being rather firm about leaving). Living your life trying to appease others is a prison. Did you have have good intentions? Did you do your best? That’s all that matters.

Like I’ve said before, it sounds like you’ve come a long way, Lara—just keep going. Own your decisions and tell your inner critic that you can take care of the situation. You don’t need others to validate your existence.

Please don’t feel obligated to reply unless you have other questions. Just do your thing!

Much love.