Kkasxo,

Feel the fear and do it anyway. I as worried about contacting my ex again, it could have broke me, but the constant daily debating about doing it was driving me insane and I was drained, so I said…. ‘right, I’m doing it. Whatever the consequences I’ll survive’.

Essentially that book on feeling the fear explains that we will survive – no matter what we do. I’m fairly sure when I meet my ex again, things won’t have changed too much. Yet I guess I need to do it. I seem to need to hear the rejection point blank or several times!

I spoke to my therapist today and he said he’s not entirely convinced it was a bad idea to contact my ex, because it is giving me more of a sense of where things are at, in real terms, rather than months of fantasising and idealising my ex through no contact.

You’re so funny ‘cos after that last message I posted, I literally thought to myself, I’m prob not gonna be much improved by next Oct!!! Great minds think alike ?

I asked my therapist when will I cop on and listen to what everyone says, to the writing on the wall? He said when I’m tired enough of feeling unhappy & crap. He said I’m obviously still not at that point yet but I’ll probably get there.

So despite all the best advice, perhaps you’re just not there yet, you’re not fed up enough to get yourself to a happier place. I know you’re tired and drained, but are you tired and drained enough? Maybe not yet!

Do you think you and your guy can be happy and leave this all behind?