Hey both,

Couple of last thoughts from me & then I’ll leave you in peace as aware I’m disturbing your conversation! But glad I’ve helped shed some light on the end of the tunnel for if or when you choose to take that path forwards.

–  First, it really doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks – at the end of the day these are your lives, your choices and your consequences.  No need to feel embarrassed or anything else about them, just understand what impact the choices have.

–  I really don’t think it is possible to change others, just yourself. Learnt the hard way 🙂 So if you guys want a different outcome in either your relationship or your life, you need to first look to yourself, I believe.

Shelby, it sounds like your relationship broke up twice because your guy wasn’t ready for more – be it marriage, kids, admitting love? So your choice is kinda clear, you can either truly accept that is all he has to give – no secretly hoping for more in time ( been there too….! ) – and enjoy that relationship with this guy. Or choose to continue to want more as your heart tells you but accept this relationship is not going to give you that – and then start to heal yourself. Both choices are absolutely fine,  – what’s probably killing you is hoping for that magical third option…  I would say you never know ( despite how much you want to analyse it out ) what’s in store for the future. You changing and healing yourself may well end up being the catalyst he needs to change himself. It may not. Who knows – but one thing will be true – you won’t be stuck in your painful what if loop.

Kkasxo – as said, no shame whatsoever in trying again whilst you still choose to want to do so. Yes, the consequences of returning to the relationship each time are that this guy has learnt that is what you will do. Again, if you want a different outcome – do different…you can either choose to accept this guy chooses not to be straight with you even when offered an open, clean slate & an understanding partner to do so and stay with him accepting you will not always know the truth, or you can change things choosing freedom from the loop. Your choice each time, always remember that – it’s so easy to think there are no choices but there always are – just not the ones we want usually.

I really really hope it works out well for the both of you – take care.

M