Hi Shelbyville and Kkasxo

I have been following your conversations and it reminded me of how I was 2 years back. You both have mentioned about hoping to hear from people who have gone through this and i hope to share my experience and see if it resonates with you both in any way.

(You can read the full story on my posts if you want to.. but id just give the gist of it here)

I wrote in here 2 yrs ago.  Feeling lost after a recent break up. It was one of the most difficult things ive gone thru and one of the most difficult part of it was that we broke up due to circumstances and it was difficult accepting it cos i felt it was not as tho we didnt love each other anymore. And i always struggled with the what ifs…and if we wld get a second chance again.

Similarly, in the first few mths.. and even for the first year.. i held on to every contact i had with him.. hoping to see any signs in those contact that circumstances have changed n tt he is now able to be with me again. But that wasnt the case and he was still stuck in the same situations.

Altho a part of me was still waiting for him but i told myself i cant be passively waiting. So i told myself i need to grow thru this too.. so i went on solo trips, lost weight, did a 4 mths solo trip to another continent and rediscovered who i am on my own. And i told myself that this is what i will still hve regardless of whether he comes bck to me anot.

Something that helped me get going was this phrase:

“Let go of what was, accept what is and have faith in what will be”

There were so many beautiful memories that i was reluctant to let go of.. and i badly wanted to have the memories again. Bt i realised i needed to let go of those because they belong in the past.

And one part of me always fantasized about us getting back together again.. so the what is helped me get back to the present is to list down what is. For me then.. i listed that he is unable to be in a rs.. he is unable to give me wht i want.. and that helped to give me the reality check that it is not possible.

And i remember reading through and there was this part you all were wondering about trusting the process.. and it can be difficult. Bt i told myself to have faith in what will be. N sometimes is just to accept that we do not have much control over what is happening.  If it is meant to happen, it will. And when you surrender n be open to things.. u will be surprised at hw mny beautiful things can happen. And the only thing i  can control at the moment is myself and how i choose to grow.

2 yrs on.. it is nt as if i have completely forgotten abt him. I still think about him n how he is doing. N i do still wonder if we will get a second chance. Bt again tt is outside my control so i will surrender and have faith in the best outcome.

And dont beat yourselves up for nt being able to let go of them yet. Sometimes i feel our body knows hw much we can handle at the moment. Maybe your body is nt yet ready to feel the whole impact of fully letting go. So when you are ready.. when tt moment is there.. it will come 🙂 it took me a while too and one day i just realised tt there is no pt in me hanging on anymore n tt is when i cld fully let go.

If nt for the breakup.. i dont think i wld have grown as much as an individual. Wishing you both the best *hugs