Hi, Anita.

Sorry for taking long to reply. Had a bit of a hectic weekend.  First, I didn’t realize that you vocould see your own posts, haha. But upon looking at it, wow, what a trip down memory lane, first off. I’ve been thinking about what you told me and what resonates with me is that I definitely had (have) patterns where I expect the man to be dominant over the situation. And that definitely does sound like my dad. And maybe cultural conditioning? I definitely don’t think he’s mature (at least, consciously), but I do have that tendency to want a guy to take control.

As an update of my present state, I’ve been feeling so so. I realized yesterday what people mean by the mind saying one thing and the heart saying another. It’s at night, especially, when the heart takes over and I start feeling sad. Also, one thing I’m working through is the sensation of guilt that I have over ending this. Some part of me is still nagging about the fact that he told me to invite him to the next concert I had. My ego and my mind tells me “you’ve been contacting him enough! Let him show some interest, if he even cares a bit for you.” The other is like…well, he’s sensitive, maybe he’s hesitant to speak. But part of me sick and tired of chasing him around. I had a huge important event happen for me and, again, nothing from him. I wonder where these feelings of guilt come from…. guilt has been an important factor of my relationship with my father.

Anyway, I’m working on taking it easy too. I really feel like I want to enjoy the present and whatever is happening right now and end this on-going story.

Thanks, again, for all your help.