Kkasxo,

I absolutely understand what you mean when you describe the shut down. Makes total sense, especially when our brain is an entity that is there to protect us. Therapy can be great because there is no judgement, no hurt caused etc by telling a complete stranger who is just there to help. I find the things I learn in therapy seeping into all aspects of my life. Psychology to me really is mind blowing.

Having said that, I told my therapist last wk that I don’t want to be in therapy for years and i’d like to be off the anti anxiety medication and not need it some day. He reassured me that that’s very achievable.

Tonight I miss my ex again, but I feel distant from the situation at the moment- maybe my form of shutdown. The only phrase I can think of to describe myself lately is ‘I’m neither here nor there’….. it just means I dunno what I think or feel as such at the moment.

The trauma obviously has had a profound impact on you, I wonder would any therapies for PTSD be of any use? Btw, I don’t mean to bring it up to be a trigger for you, please feel free to talk about it as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. I think since I started posting I too have seen a change in you. You initially were solely surviving the break up and just managing. You are now faced with an avalanche of so much more and you’re coping better than when it was just the breakup, whether or not you can see that. You now are facing a multitude and understand yourself better in some ways. I hope that gives you some hope, however small.