Kkasxo,

I have to say I really believe a lot of my emotion is connected to my hormones, so I have a suspicion my end of the world prophesying will return in the coming weeks! But right now, I’m actually happy to not look too far forward, if today is a good day, I think…okay….let’s work with this day then. I’ll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. A form of mindfulness I guess!

I would imagine your therapist could discuss PTSD with you, does it have to be a medical doctor thing? I don’t know much about it so perhaps you’re right, but worth mentioning to your therapist. I ABSOLUTELY know what you mean about the wobbles when idle. I’m the same, I nearly crawl the walls. That’s why my illness last week took such a toll because I couldn’t move therefore had nothing to do but think. It’s normal and natural, but a huge pat on the back for not contacting him. Because you’re right…..what would lambasting him do? He apparently has already expressed so much remorse and can’t unchange what has happened, so it would just be hamster wheel where you would not be satisfied at the end of it again.

It does show how much anger you have though. That’s all part of the process and working through that in therapy might also help you let some of it go, or move on. Look how much stuff you did yesterday for someone who feels they are a shell of their former self. People who can’t get up off the floor, who never leave their bedroom would not be able to do what you did yesterday afternoon – truly – so take that as evidence that you’re coping.

Anytime you have a wobble, journal and right on the forum if you like. I’ll get back to you as soon as I see the message and others may be online too at that time, we can be your life buoys when you’re on the edge.

Today I’m getting my hair done to try and make an effort to make myself feel better but I’ve had a bad headache all morning from not having slept well last night, so I’m not as enthusiastic now!