Dear Nikki:

You are welcome. But your issue is real, no less than anyone else’s.

Regarding your motivation in communicating with your ex, it may be in what you stated in a comment you made in someone else’s thread today or yesterday:

“He will come running to you but he won’t if he feels like you are still weak and crying after him… If he gets a feeling that you are having fun, growing and making a good life for yourself. He will regret his decisions even if he doesn’t come begging you  out of shame”-

maybe you want your ex to “beg you out of shame”, to regret his decision to not marry you.

I believe you “don’t want to be with him ever”, but I think you want him to want to be with you forever, that is, to marry you, or  to regret not marrying you.

Now, I ask myself, what is the harm in such motivation and in continuing the contact with him? My answer to my own question- to communicate with him keeps you bound to him, attached in some way. And that can harm your relationship with your fiancé/ future husband.

anita